2016

I’m in a play where we have to — and act as though we are —. There was a stage direction for me to —-. 

Wait, what about the spiritual fabric of life? Are we being prepared for the next part of our lives through spiritual forces training us?

I’m in a play and in that play my character —. So I’ve been going to stunt training. To help me learn how to —. It creates bruises. Bruises that start red, turn purple and then green. The size of my fists. 

Everyone, including myself, is looking back on 2016 and REFLECTING. 

I posted “in 2016 I took acid and dmt like it was my job. I had a mullet. I worked at a strip club. I was in an indie feature, I went on my first poetry tour and we broke down in Odessa, Texas.”

Then people were like “why isn’t anyone talking about the TRAUMATIC STUFF that happened in 2016?”

In 2016 I had bruises on my body from stripping. I climbed the pole, I could flip myself over and hold myself with one leg and take my top off upside down. The bruises were my body getting strong. 

In 2016 they took the door off the dressing room bathroom at our club because too many girls were shooting up. The toilet was covered in blood. So we used the toilet in front of each other.

One night a girl ODed, crashing into a mirror, the manager yelling, not wanting to disrupt the night's business with a 9-1-1 call. I had no narcan. That night I went to a clown themed party and took bunk molly. I sobbed in the bathroom. I made friends with a co-worker who would OD two years later. For my birthday that year she got me a pink plastic seashell cup from Urban Outfitters. The straw was purple.

My house caught on fire while I was asleep. The fire happened between the floor boards. I continued to live in the house for a few months after. It was winter,cold, often the power would go out. Like very often, because no one was supposed to be living there. I didn’t think I was suffering, there was just always a level of chaos that I didn’t need to answer for. 

An idea that 2026 will feel lucky. 

My birthday will fall on 6/26/26.

If someone could tell me the spiritual significance of those numbers in that order I would be grateful.

I  woke up today so scared because this past year (2025) of my life has felt like one of the best I’ve ever lived. The last time I felt like that about a year was 2018. Then 2019 felt like the worst year of my life. 

New Years Eve 2019 I drove a car full of my friends off the road because I was candy flipping.

I’ve been doing pushups. 

Like it was supposed to happen this way all along. Like everything that happened to me in 2016 is preparing me for this performance. I feel really strong, scared, and sad. 

The play is sold out so I hope you got tickets:)